I Won't Say I'm Okay
by weeblyweeb
Summary: Eren is a foster child, running his route through life, will he survive? As Eren goes into his second year of high school, his love life goes down the depths. What kind of twists and turns are in store for him?
1. Chapter One

Eren was forgotten. He sat outside an old abandoned Goodwill as he waited for someone, anyone, to come get him. The bench he sat on was in the middle of town, groups of people passed by him as his nose was buried in a book. At school he could be popular, but he had the tendency to drive people away. Well, after his emerald green eyes drew them in. Eren was what people call unique. With his jet black hair, green eyes, and skinny build, he was quite handsome and slightly stood out. Standing out was not quite his thing though. Ever since his mother passed away, and his father disappeared, he became a shy, quiet kid with a lot of anger issues. He now lived in a foster home with his sister Mikasa. Now, Mikasa was't his actual sister, she just lived with him before his mom died. Her parents had been murdered and robbed, right in front of her. Ever since then, she would follow Eren everywhere, protecting him from bullies, jerks, and anyone who aimed to hurt him. Well that was until Mikasa got into advanced college classes in school. Now Eren only saw her at home, but she was usually out with friends. As Eren got lost in his thought, the brief smell of bleach wafted by and as he looked up, he met the gray eyes of Levi. Levi was five years older than Eren and in college, but he was also one of Eren's closest friends.

'What are you doing here,' asked Levi quizzically,' didn't school get out like two hours ago?' Eren glanced at the sky, noticing the orange and pink clouds engulfing the sky.

'Oh, my foster parents forgot about me again.'

'I wish I could give you a ride home kiddo, but I live on the other side of town.'

'Someone will eventually realize I'm gone, thanks though.'

Eren sighed, marking his place in his book, and setting it in his backpack. Levi walked away, shaking his head disappointingly. After Levi was out of sight, Eren took out a dark blue binder out of his bag, the word 'Brightside' scrawled across the front of it. The story he was writing wasn't for others to read, so he often kept it hidden inside his backpack. What he was writing was a love story between two guys that both die in the end. Being gay was worse than being a rapist in this town though, so he kept all of his stuff hidden. Mikasa pulled up in her black SUV that their 'parents' bought her. Her black hair swirled around as she lowered the window to speak to him.

'Get in, Eren.' Mikasa glared at him with her cold, gray eyes. This made him shudder as he quietly hid his binder away.

'Seems as if someone finally realized I was missing.' Eren spoke with slight bitterness in his voice, letting her know how irritated he was.

'John and Elaine want you home ASAP, they're pissed.' Eren wanted to curl up and die just then, but he proceeded to be strong, not wanting to seem weak. The car ride home was silent, mostly because they both knew what was going to happen. Their foster father, John, would get a little too mad and knock him around a little. Elaine, their foster mother, would pretend not to see, and Mikasa would pretend not to even hear. Everyone thought they were the perfect family, but no. They weren't even close to it.

Mikasa broke the silence as they reached the long gravel driveway. 'If you would just stop getting into fights and talking back, then maybe, just maybe we could be a forever home.'

'Mikasa,' Eren became slightly irritated with her, 'just because you so easily replace your parents, doesn't mean I can replace mine.' Mikasa just sighed and stared ahead. When they arrived home, both parents were sitting on the front porch. Their house was a pastel green, three story, one forgotten basement, ten bedroom, five bathroom, basically all glass house. The only people who lived in the house were John, Elaine, Mikasa, and Eren, yet it could fit a football team and then some. The entrance to the basement was in Eren's room, and Eren got to claim it, but that will be explained later.

'Where have you been, Eren.' John, the foster dad, spat out.

'John, you forgot about him after school. He was in the usual waiting spot.' Mikasa said to him, hoping it would be enough to protect her brother. Surprisingly he just nodded and let Eren escape to his room.

'Thanks Mik,' Eren basically yelled as he ran to his bedroom. He threw his backpack onto the bed, grabbed his laptop, and ran down the stairs to the basement. On the plain cement walls, Eren had taped pictures of him, his friends, and his mother and father. He also had various posters of bands, TV shows, and video games that he enjoyed. He flopped onto a blue beanbag chair and opened his laptop, typing away to the story he wrote. Not much later, his phone vibrated, lighting up with a message. The message was from the class idiot, Conny. Conny was a friend of Eren's, but he was generally not smart. For the lack of knowledge, he held these awesome parties because his parents were always out.

 **Conny: What r u up 2? Movie with Sasha and me?**

Eren took a moment to reply, thinking this over. If Sasha was there that meant Crysta would be there. Which meant Ymir is there. Since Ymir is there, Annie would be sulking around. Annie always brings Reiner and Bertholdt. If bertle the turtle is there, Marco and his boyfriend Jean would be there. It took awhile for Eren to think about it because well, Annie, Reiner, and Jean were all assholes in his opinion.

 **Eren: Mikasa there? Or maybe Levi?**

A small smile tugged at his lips as Levi came to mind. He grabbed the picture of Levi and himself from when they went camping together. Eren was making a stupid face as Levi stared at the camera with those stern gray eyes. Mikasa took that picture a month ago.

 **Conny: Mik already here. IDK about Levi.**

Bummer. His heart tugged a bit, but if Mik was there, he was going to be. He ran upstairs and yelled at Elaine, 'going to Conny's, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.' Not that it mattered if she heard him or not, they didn't really care. He ran outside and grabbed his bike since Conny only lived a block away. When he arrived, Conny met him at the door with a drink in hand. Sasha was on the couch, eating a family size bag of potato chips by herself. She ate so much, didn't play sports, but managed to stay super fit. It didn't make sense to him at all. Crysta and Ymir were playing a card game with Annie and Reiner. Eren instinctively scanned the room for Jean, or maybe he was hoping it was Levi. He saw Bertholdt nervously sipping on a fluid, her presumed it was beer. Soon, Eren heard the braying laughter of Jean. Jean was a tall, dirty blonde, horse-faced junior that had a huge crush on Mikasa. It was obvious that Mikasa gave a rats ass about him, but he was stubborn and ignorant.

Marco, Jeans boyfriend, didn't seem to care about his attempts to get into Mik's pants. Marco was a junior as well, shorter than jean, and he had black hair and a splash of freckles across his face. He was in honors with Mikasa, and people called him 'Freckled Jesus'. Everyone knew him, and everyone loved him, even if he was gay. People say that Marco is God's acceptation to a gay person, so he doesn't get picked on or anything. 'How's the Levi hunt going for you, Eren?' Marco smiled and ruffled Eren's hair playfully. Eren's face turned a bright shade of red as he continued looking. Marco was the one of the few who knew Eren was gay. Being an oddball, Eren didn't need to be bullied, and Marco understood that.

'Oh, uh, well'

'Say no more,' whispered Marco. As if on cue, Levi walked by obliviously through the door. Even though Levi was in college, he still like to hang around high school parties and highschoolers. Eren's heart skipped a beat as soon as he noticed Levi.

'M-Marco,' stuttered Eren, 'was this your idea?'

Marco just smiled and ran off to go find Jean. Levi saw Eren and gave him a small smile.

'So I see you got a ride home, kid.'

'Yeah, thanks to my knight in shining armor, Mikasa.' Eren sighed, not only because Mikasa saved him, but because Levi seemed slightly tipsy.

'Anything good to drink?' Levi said as he grinned giddily. Eren thought his behavior was odd. Levi came to parties, but he hadn't taken a drink since his fiance, Petra, died. Petra was a beautiful auburn hair girl, who had these large hazel eyes, and was kind to everyone. She and Levi went to a graduation party, but she has a family emergency. Levi drove even though he was completely drunk. The car found it's way into a tree, the impact broke Petra's neck. After the incident, Levi became more moody than usual, stayed sober, and cleaned just about everything.

Armin, Eren's best friend since before his mom died, was never at parties, so when he showed up Eren was quite surprised. As soon as Armin entered the house, Eren ran to him.

'What are you doing here, Armin?'

'I got invited too, so why not?'

'It's just weird, okay?'

'So, where's the juice?'

Eren laughed to himself quietly and grabbed Armin by the arm, basically dragging him into the kitchen. He grabbed Armin a drink, making sure it wasn't to pungent for his first time. He left Armin in the kitchen to go find Levi. During his search he ran into Marco, Jean glaring at him from a corner.

'Hey Marco, have you seen Levi?'

'He trailed upstairs to the bathroom I think.'

'Ah, thanks.'


	2. Chapter two

Eren ran upstairs to the bathroom, but Levi was no where to be found. As curiosity began nipping at him, Eren started searching in the other bedrooms. He looked in almost every room, reaching the master bedroom. He heard hushed voices, one being Mikasa. Opening the door slightly,he saw Mikasa's naked body on top of Levi's. Eren's eyes began filling with tears, dropping his cup, he attempted to spit out an apology. Mikasa was pushed off Levi's body, a blanket was pulled over both of them.  
'Eren, you can't tell anyone,' Levi sat up, speaking with a slightly hushed voice. Eren shut the door, baking up slowly as hurt and vulnerability began filling his chest. He sprinted outside, not bothering to say good-bye to anyone. Tears fell from his eyes as he threw up in the front lawn of Conny's house. They were tears of hatred, jealousy, and pure aversion. He grabbed his bike and rode as fast as he could home. When he arrived home, he told his 'parents' that he just wasn't feeling well, and that's why he was home so early. He then went down to the basement, throwing himself on the beanbag. He pulled out his phone and texted Conny, Armin, and Marco.

 **To Conny: Not feeling well, came home.**  
He made a group text with Marco and Armin.

 **Eren: Did you know Levi and mik are sleeping together?**  
 **Armin: Oh man that must sting**  
 **Marco: Isn't that illegal? He's like 50 compared to her.**  
 **Eren: It's only five years, so he is just 21, not 50.**  
 **Marco: You should tell the authority, or Principal Erwin.**  
 **Eren: NO, I'm not wanting to severe the relationship him and I have already.**  
 **Armin: Stop helping your boyfriend Eren. Tell.**  
 **Marco: Boyfriend? Eren's gay?**  
 **Eren: Marco, you know this already.**  
 **Marco: ... You know this is Jean right? Marco lent me his phone for a second**  
 **Eren: Oh god... Jean please...**

Eren shut off his phone, wiping some more tears away. His life was screwed and he knew it. Jean was an ass to him and he would do anything to screw him over, and now he did. Everyone would know that he was gay, everyone including Levi, who was a homophobe. He could get kicked out of his private school just because he was a homosexual. Marco only got away with it because everyone loved the guy, but him, no. The school will call his 'parents' and then he would get moved. Moving he could deal with, but he didn't look forward to it.

Eren opened his laptop, checking his FaceBook. As soon as he logged on, something was already posted. _**Homos Taking Over?**_ His school picture was pasted underneath it. Great. His phone began vibrating, Mikasa's name lit up on the screen. He ignored it, eventually falling asleep staring at the picture of him and Levi.

* * *

{Sorry it's such a short chapter ;-; but that's it...}


	3. Chapter Three

Eren woke up at four in the morning, giving him a chance to run. He threw on a pair of shorts and propped open his window. He took off running as soon as he hit the ground, not minding the pain jolting up his ankles. He sprinted for as long as he could withstand, appearing at a small, lonesome park. The grass was still wet with morning dew, a blue heron wading in the shallows of the lake. He smiled as he laid down in the grass, giving himself a moment to catch his breath. The silence gave him a moment to think of everything that has happened. The image of Mikasa and Levi popped up in his mind, hurt and hatred began to fill his lungs. Pain ran through his legs as a deeper emotion ran through him, emptiness. He couldn't believe Mikasa would betray him like that, but she didn't exactly know.

His phone began to vibrate again, Mikasa's name appearing on the screen. He let it pass by, noticing that he now had 12 missed calls from her. Did she care that he was devastated? He pushed the thought away. All she did was care about herself, no one else. The sky began turning an orange pink, and that's when he began heading out to the school. He discovered the park was less than a mile to his school and he was extremely early. One of the teachers let him in, letting him grab some clothes out of his locker to change. He wore his usual black jacket, black jeans from He sat against the lockers, waiting for everyone to fill the halls in an hour, and simply read his book.

People began filling the halls as soon as the bell rang. The whispers about him had already began, so he got up and headed to his first class. Annie and Reiner flanked him on both sides, everyone stopped to watch.

'Hey faggot,' spat out Annie, 'get some ass lately?'

'Yeah actually, I just took one as big as your nose.' It was a stupid insult, but it was all he could come up with in the spot.

Annie shot out quickly, grabbing Eren by the front of his jacket. 'Listen here homo, you're barking up the wrong tree.'

'yeah,' echoed Reiner, 'wrong tree.'

Annie pressed Eren against the locker, snarling as she drew her fist back, when Levi poked around the corner.

'Ladies, do we have a problem?'

'Who are you?' Annie dropped her hand instinctively, giving Eren the chance to attempt to squirm away.

'You, miss, may address me as Captain, or Mr. Rivaille. I am the new math teacher and if you could drop Mr. Jaeger, I'm sure Mr. Erwin won't have to hear about this.'

'Not our fault he's a faggot,' Annie dropped Eren, letting him fall to his knees. Annie quickly strutted away, Reiner following close behind.

'Aren't you going to welcome me to the school, Eren?'

Eren glared, pushing through Levi and headed towards his first class, which was thankfully not math. For the rest of the day, Eren ignore the whispers, snide remarks, and even the call to the office. His last class was math, which he skipped, and he was pretty sure that's what the call was about. After school Eren changed into his running clothes and sprinted home. When he arrived, both 'parents' were waiting at the table.

'Eren,' whispered his forstermother, 'are the rumors... true?' Eren grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge and cringed at her words.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm gay get over it.'

His fosterfather began to say something, but he ran off to the bedroom before he could finish. He locked the door to prevent anyone coming in, taking his laptop downstairs with him. He sat on the beanbag, sipping his Pepsi as he began to read the hate mail. As he began to feel a tinge of depression, he turned it off and texted Marco.

 **Eren: I guess you've heard?**

 **Marco: Yeah, who hasn't... This is my fault, I'm sorry, Eren...**

 **Eren: Bound to happen.. Levi is the new math teacher?**

 **Marco: Not for long.. Mikasa remember?**

 **Eren: Don't...**

Eren sighed and called Armin just to ask him to come over. A few moments later he heard a knock at the door, opening it to see Mikasa. She shoved past him and sat on his bed.

'So the rumors are true? Why didn't you ever tell me?'

'Mik you should leave, Armin is coming over.'

'No tell me now.'

'Yes, I am homosexual, and also, I am in love with Levi. You know, the guy you slept with? Now, be a dear and leave my bedroom.'

'God, to think I fell in love with you.'

Mikasa walked away, hatred filled her eyes, slamming the door shut. Eren sat against the wall, biting his left hand as he thought. Mikasa was in love with him? That was his sister though... He wished he never went to that party. He sat awake all night, wondering about the stupid things in life.

The next morning, he walked to school alone, dark rings circled his eyes. School was grueling and painful as always. During gym however, he noticed both Mikasa and Jean were both absent. He got a hall-pass and went to go look for Mikasa, since he could care less about Jean. He checked the locker rooms, and most of the classrooms before he ran into Marco.

'Hey Eren,' Marco smiled as he spoke, 'whatcha doing out of class?'

'I'm looking for Mik and Jean.'

'Have you checked the band room for Mik? I know she likes to play guitar when she's down.'

'No, I'll go check though.'

'No you won't, I will, so get back to class.'

Eren nodded and jogged back to his gym class before anyone noticed his disappearance.

Marco entered the band room, and the first thing his eyes laid on was the closed closet. The band closet was never allowed to be closed, mostly because people were jacking off during band practices. Marco quietly sneaked to the door, opening it quickly. His mouth fell open as dread filled his body. In front of him was a pure naked, yet firm, butt. This butt belonged to no other than Jean Kirstein. On the other side of his boyfriend was no other than Mikasa.

Jean scrambled back, his junk spilling out of Mikasa as he stammered out an excuse. Marco took out a red piece of paper, deadpanning at him.

'Mr. Kirstein and Ms. Ackerman, you are both receiving red Titan slips against the school. You may report to principal Erwin once you get your clothes back on.'

Marco set each filled out form by his feet. His eyes began to burn from the tears wanting to escape. He phoned the principal, letting him know what happened, on his way to the restroom. Once he arranged himself in a graffited stall, the tears poured out. Marco texted Eren, even though it was against school rules.

 **Marco: found j and m...**

 **Eren: Where? Is M ok?**

 **Marco: Yeah.. J was inside her..**

 **Eren: No...**

 **Marco: We were saving ourselves for each other...**

 **Eren: What are you going to do?**

 **Marco: Wanna come over and I'll tell you?**

 **Eren: yes, After school.**

Marco smiled, straightened out his hall monitor vest, and walked out of the bathroom.

* * *

 ** _This is my favorite chapter to write so far so I hope you enjoy ^^ the next chapter is gonna be devious so yeah c:_**


	4. Chapter Four

_**A/N**_ **/Weeblyweeb's cousin, bohemian_sin, here to give you some devious and half-hearted smut mwahaha -u-' This whole plot is her idea and basically sold her soul to bring you this piece of work and keep in mind that we are new to this sort of thing since we are used to roleplaying with other people instead of a single person's point of view. Also, sorry if our styles are different from each other. Sorry for the lateness. This is my first ever smut, be proud. That's all for now, m'kay bi/**

 _ **Marco's Pov**_

"You want to _what?_ " Eren looked at me in complete and utter shock as we sat together on his unmade bed.

"Fuck." I replied simply.

"Why?"

"To get revenge of course!"

"On who? Horse face?"

My seemingly happy face slowly sank into one of sadness and anger as the image of Jean, my boyfriend, on top of that.. _slut_ flashed through his contaminated mind. He was- _is_ still hurt over the whole scenario, who wouldn't be? So Marco thought of a way to get the two-toned cheater back. With revenge.

"I want him to know just how hurt I am by doing the same to him, with a _twist_."

I could feel my lips twitch into a manic smirk as I pulled out my rainbow cased phone.

"We're going to record ourselves having sex."

 **Eren's Pov**

'That's it. He's finally snapped..'

 **Marco's Pov**

I leaned back as I tried to angle my camera correctly on Eren's lowest shelf so that the HD screen captured the entire scene that was about to take place. Luckily his parents won't be home for a while so they won't be able to walk in on them during the process.

"Are you sure about this? I mean, it _is_ your first time.." I heard the nervous brunette say behind me, exhaling through my nose as his arms snaked loosely around my bare shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I nodded my head and quickly pressed the record button, sweetly smiling into the camera before leaning into Eren's arms, my freckled back flush against the other's firm chest. Honestly, it felt a tad odd and.. out of place for his naked skin to be in contact with another's body that isn't Jean's, which made it all the more arousing since it's totally prohibited by both parents and relationship statuses.

I slowly wrapped my long, muscular arms around the smaller teen's neck backwards as his slender fingers ghosted down my tan sides, causing my body to shiver slightly against the ivory skin beneath him. Then came a sensation that I've only felt a few times before with Kirschtein.

Eren began to gently knead his groin through my boxers as he showered my sensitive neck with tender, wet kisses, drawing a soft moan from my throat. A twinge of guilt twisted in my gut as my hips began to move against his ultra soft hand but I had to ignore that right now since we've already gone too far to stop. And besides, It was feeling _way_ too damn good to stop now.

As I grated my hindquarters against the other male's growing erection, I rolled my head back just as he leaned down towards me, catching my lips in an unexpectant kiss. I squeaked, causing my lips to part involuntarily . Obviously I should've seen this coming but it still caught me by surprise when he took that moment to take advantage by darting his tongue through my swollen lips, seizing my wet cavern dominantly, but not without a fight.

I soothingly ran my hands through his chocolate brown hair before giving the locks a sudden tug, a smile rode up the corners of my mouth when he let out a low growl. How Eren was behaving, - how protective and dominant he is - in a way, it reminded me of my blonde boyfriend.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice his hand sneaking into my undergarments, abruptly awaking me with a gasp when he tightly grasped my semi hard on. We had pulled away for more air before smashing our lips together once again; tongues tangling with each other as muffled moans and whines escaped within the sloppy kiss.

"Eren.." I whispered breathily into his ear. "There's a bottle of lube in my backpack.. I-I'm ready.."

"You sure you want to do th-"

I cut the hormonal teen off with a quick, yet passionate smooch.

"I'm pretty _damn_ sure." I reassured him.

All he did was nod flusteredly before scrambling away to fetch the necessary liquid from my pack, coming back into the shot two minutes later. I'd already shed away my boxers so I was left bare in front of both the running camera and Eren. I still felt a tad out of place since Eren was still in his pants, sitting onto my knees as I awaited for my partner to finish coating his thin fingers with the clear fluid.

Then I felt a wet fingertip prod at the border of my untouched entrance. I automatically tensed up when his slick digit slid into my northern regions, gradually rocking my hips against his shallow thrusts.

In all honesty, it stung, it hurt, and it _wasn't_ fun. Maybe that was my guilty conscious speaking but it was at least part of it was true. I had to constantly wiggle my hips from side to side to keep them from stiffening and his fingers movements felt jerky, as if he was trying to find something.

The stinging sensation burned down to a dull ache when he began to stretch me out, withdrawing soft whines and whimpers from me. I thought this was going to be more pleasurable, more.. _exciting_ , but no. It still hurt like hell. I was about to call this whole thing off when a sudden jolt of pleasure ran through my entire being, extracting a loud, almost _whorish_ moan from my throat which left me breathlessly shocked.

' _What the fuck was that?'_

Was the only thing running through my mind until it all clicked together. So Eren _was_ looking for something: My prostate.

Now that he knew where it was, the smaller brunette commenced to thrust his skinny fingers into me. My thick body shook underneath his touch, letting out short, breathy moans. _Fuck_ , if I knew how great this felt, I wouldn't have waited so long..

"Marco?"

My hazy gaze flicked over towards the man behind me, the only thing coming from my parted lips were heavy, high-pitched mewls.

"Yes.. pl-please just- ah~ -do it.. I'm ready.." I managed to stutter out all too audibly.

The ladder didn't hesitate to pull out his digits from my insides, leaving me with an oddly empty feeling. A moment later and I could feel his soft lips pressing against various spots on my naked back as the German lined himself with myself.

This was when I started doubting whether this was a good idea or not.

A flicker of panic sparked through my chest when Eren's shaft crowned the brim of my entrance, causing me to immediately tense up around him with a pained whimper.

"Marco," The younger teen started as he traced soothing circles around my plump thigh in an attempt to calm me. "Try to relax, it'll be less painful.."

I nodded and basically forced myself to relax all my muscles. I'm not gonna lie, this was hard as fuck to manage while a seven and a half inch dick is being shoved up your ass. It stung - a lot - and I had to bite down on my hand to contain the louder noises, but as soon as the sharper pain dulled away the feeling wasn't too bad.

My hips slowly rose and fell along his thick girth, earning a few small grunts from the male underneath me.

"Come on, baby, take it _all_." He growled possessively, giving my inner thighs a rough squeeze.

Oh _fuck_ , that did something. That _definitely_ did something.

A rather lustful groan spilled from my pure lips as I sunk further down his throbbing length, throwing my head back in pleasure. Legs spread wide for the camera, I gradually lifted myself from the handsome teen's dick before slamming back down with a vulgar 'slap' sound from the skin to skin contact. I immediately tensed around him when my g-spot was found yet again, trying to bite back a yelp of delight. Apparently, this about to turn into something more than what I bargained for.

From behind, the pale juvenile firmly gripped the pits of my underlegs, staggering a startled squeal as he lifted me from his lap and rammed his cock back inside me without notice. I made sure to grab his side with one secure hand and scratch his back with the other, hissing in sheer bliss washed over my body as he repeated his actions over and over until I felt a tightening feeling deep within my gut-groin parts. I knew I was at my peak and I wasn't going to last long for sure.

I realized that as Eren pounded my tight, virgin ass that he was mumbling sweet nothings next to my ear, making sure I was okay. How cute. I would've said something back if I wasn't showered in glorious rapture.

"Eren.. cumming.. soon.." I breathily warned in segments of a sentence.

He nodded in agreeance and whispered, "I know.. me too," and thrusted hard into me a few more times before snaking his arm around my waist pulled me near his chest as he shot his load deep within me, flipping off my phone with a soft grunt. Of course, that set me off and an extremely wonton moan slipped from my throat as I came shortly after, my freckled body trembling graciously atop of the ladder male.

" _F-Fuck.. Eren.."_ Was all I could muster out after _that_ experience.

I slumped against his steady chest as I regained my normal breathing instead of heavy pants. I was much too tired to stop the recording of the video.

I'll edit out the cuddling.


	5. Chapter Five

Marco left Eren's house at about two hours later, acting a bit more sore. He walked himself out, mostly because Eren's parents were supposed to be home soon. He didn't think they would want to see their son naked in bed with another guy. Marco clicked his phone on, holding it tightly and trying to decide whether or not to send it. Who was he kidding, of course he wanted to, Jean deserved it. As soon as he pressed the send button, a flood of guilt washed over him.  
'Hey Marco,' Eren yelled out his window, 'be safe, okay?' Eren sat against the wall, playing with a nearby sock of his. Marco wouldn't escape his mind and it bugged the hell out of him. Marco was Jeans' and not his. Marco's freckled body popped up in his mind causing a small blush to dance across his cheeks. A small smile twitched at the edge of his lips, Marco was always so nice to him, but why? Why did he want to use him for his own revenge? Could he have a crush on him as well?  
A small knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, startling him to a jump.

'Uh hold up, I'm kind of naked here!' He shouted at the person on the other side of the door. He grabbed a pair of his boxers, sniffing them to make sure they were clean, then throwing them on. He swung the door open, his smile fading as he saw Mikasa sitting in his doorway.

'Hey, uhm, have you seen Marco lately?' Eren's face suddenly burned red thinking she knew.

'Oh, uh, he was here a couple of hours ago. Something about Jean cheating. Why?'

'I.. I uhm wanted to apologize to him about Jean. It was my fault he cheated on him.'

'Mikasa, you are going to want to apologize to him face to face. Not to me.'

'Right right... Also, about Levi... I am truly sorry about that. He just..'

'I know.' Eren sighed and shut the door as she sulked away, and threw himself on his bed. His heart ached for Levi, but Levi would never understand.

'Why..' He whispered to himself. He ran his fingers through his dirty hair, falling asleep thinking of Levi.

By the time he woke up, he was already late for school. After taking a short, cold shower he threw on his usual all black clothes. Today though, there was a twist, as he threw on a pair of rainbow socks. What harm could it do? He was already screwed as it was. When he entered the school, the halls were already emptying out, so he assumed the bell had rung. He jogged to the lockers, grabbing his stuff for class when he heard Marco's voice. His heart fluttered as he walked closer to the end of the lockers, soon hearing another voice. It was Jean's voice, which was louder and more prominent than Marco's. They were having an argument about the video of Eren and Marco. He peaked his head around the corner, Jean was waving his phone closely to Marco's face. When he noticed Marco's tear streaked face, hatred of Jean burned in his chest. Was he developing a crush on Marco? No, he couldn't, he loved Levi. Eren stepped out and glared at Jean.

'Everything going okay here Marco?'

'Everything is fine." Marco replied, giving him a smile through his tears. Eren knew he had to step in, this was kind of his fault anyway.

'Eren just please go to class.' By this point Marco was beginning to tear up again, Eren could've sworn he hear his own heart breaking. He nodded and walked around the corner, sticking around to make sure Jean didn't get out of hand. Was it only that? No. He wanted the chance to comfort Marco if Jean broke his heart. Marco and Jean continued in hushed voices, Jean finally realizing he was being the asshat. When they were hugging, Eren had a strange twinge of jealousy. After he was sure the fight was completed, he headed finally to his class.

When school ended Eren ran into Levi. Like literally smashed into his chest as he hurried home. He just smiled at Eren, not attempting to even apologize or hold a conversation with him. After a minute or two of pure awkwardness, Levi left, relief flew over Eren as he did so. Right bow he didn't want anything to do with Levi, no matter how much he loved him. Eren was making his way to the door, pushing through the crowds of pubescent teenagers when Annie stopped him. She pushed him into a janitors closet, after making sure no one was looking.

'You still live with Mik right?' Annie asked in a hushed voice, the tip of her nose tickling the top of his ear.

'uh, of course, why?' Annie shoved something into his hand.

'I was never here.' she slid out quietly, leaving Eren in the dark closet alone. He looked at the foreign object in his hand, examining it closely. It was a magenta-red envelope, an old valentine heart sticker acting like a wax seal. Mikasa's name was neatly scrawled across the front in calligraphy writing. He noticed each of the 'i's in her name were dotted with petite hearts. This was a love note, but from Annie? It had to be a trick, probably a bomb to hurt him. He shook the thought off and sighed. Maybe she just liked Mik, who knew. He shoved the envelope in the front pocket of his backpack, pondering whether to give it to Mikasa or not.

Eren carefully opened the door, checking whether or not he could escape yet. Marco and Jean meandered by, holding hands as if nothing had ever made Eren's heart sink since he wanted Marco to be with him, not with that mule. Sure, this was just a silly crush, but since last night he couldn't help but fall for him. He slipped out after Marco and Jean were out of sight, once again attempting to escape the prison-like building. This time he succeeded, heading straight to Mikasa's room. ** _(heuheu straight)_**

'Hey Mik, I got a letter for you.' He held out the envelope, eyeing it once more before handing it out to her. She took it into her hands, a child-like smile spreading across her face. Her thumbs ran over the neat writing on the front, thumbing the sticker playfully.

'Who's this from? I don't suppose it from you, Marco, Jean, or Levi now, is it?'

'No it's from that Annie bitch.' Her smile flickered for a moment, turning into confusion.

'Annie? I think I have AP chemistry with her. She's kinda cute huh?' Eren raised an eyebrow quizzically.

'Whoah Mik, I didn't know you swung that way, I thought you were a whore for boys.' She shot a deathly glare at him before pushing him out of her neatly made bedroom.

'Hush hush, I have never slept with a girl, but you coming out.. Kind of made me see if.. ya know,' she murmured this through the door, not allowing him to see her face.

'Sure Mik. Are you going to open it, or what? I kinda want to know what it says.' He heard the envelope rip through the door, causing him o fumble with her doorknob. After a couple minutes of waiting, he grew impatient.

'What's it sayyyyyyy.' He made a whining noise to emphasize his whimsical curiosity.

'She wants to meet me at Titan park after school tomorrow. I think she's asking me out on a date, Eren.'

'No. Fucking. Way.' He stood there, mouth agape to emphasize the shock he was in. Annie was one of the biggest homophobes he knew, and e thought she was dating Reiner so that kind of surprised him. He stood there in shock for a good five minutes as Mikasa giggled behind the door. He came out of his coma as he phone buzzed against his butt. On the screen there was a text message from an unknown number. In the text a single word in caps stayed on the screen. That word was 'Thanks!" so he automatically assumed it was Annie. Since all this gay love was spreading around, he decided to tell Levi about his love for him. Once and for all, and he was going to do it on Valentines Day.

* * *

 ** _This chapter is kind of everywhere but I had to fit it all in one and I didn't want it to take eons to read to here \\(^u^)/_**


	6. Chapter Six

Eren woke up start, mostly since Mikasa was shaking him awake. He looked over at his clock and groaned, attempting to fall away from her grasp.  
'Mik what exactly do you want at three in the morning.'  
'Eren I'm in big trouble.'  
'Who's boyfriend did you sleep with this time?'  
'He's not dating anyone, but I am, therefore I am in deep shit.'  
''Ah, right, Annie. She's going to be pissed, ya know.' He sat up and rubbed his brilliant green eyes.  
'Yes and the fact he got me pregnant is going to freak her out.'  
'Mhm and th..' his eyes widened quickly after he processed what she had just said.  
'You're what? Who? How? When?'  
'Yes I'm pregnant with..' Eren cut her off with a snarky laugh.  
'Oh shit, it's Jean's isn't it?'  
'No,' she paused for a moment, attempting to give it a dramatic effect, 'it's Reiner's.'  
'You slept with you girlfriends best friend?'  
'It was before we were, ya know, together..'  
'How far along are you?'  
'Eight weeks, I went to the doctor and for sure there is a baby here.'  
'No wonder you're getting fat.' Mikasa sat on the edge of his bed, tears piling down her cheeks.  
'Oh Eren, Valentines day is in a day, what do I do.' Eren's heart skipped a beat. One day until he told Levi how he felt. One day until he told Levi he loved him.  
'Just tell Annie and Reiner the truth. They'll understand, I think..'  
'Thanks, really.' Mikasa leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He watched her thin silhouette get up and leave his bedroom, lingering in the open doorway for a moment.  
'Really Eren, thank you so much.' She left quietly after that, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts. He sat awake until the sun rose, sitting on his bed and thinking of his dead mother. Rolling out of his very warm bed, his his the floor with a loud emClunk!/em  
'Ow dammit,' he murmured to himself hitting his head softly against the hardwood flooring, 'why does school have to happen.' Eren trudged his way to his dresser, smiling at the picture of him and Levi. It used to be in his basement, but now, it was framed and made sure to be seen by everyone. He threw on his casual all black outfit, then walked out to the pearl white hall. Right away he heard Mikasa giving up any food she had possibly devoured before. He was sure to knock on the door and make sure she was okay, but there was no reply. He was kind of worried about what would happen between her and Annie at school. He shrugged the thought away as he was worried about more, important things.  
Outside was gray due to the sheets of rain pouring down, which made him less excited to wait for the stupid bus. Sure the bus was full of freshman and losers without cars, like him, but it was better than being late. The big yellow bus began to slow down, but when the bus driver noticed him, he seemed to step on the gas and speed by his house.  
'Shit, why the fuck does everyone hate me here.' Eren stepped out in the rain, beginning to walk to the school, when the familiar smell of bleach wafted in the air. A silver 2009 Ford Mustang slowed down by him, a more pungent smell of bleach burning the hairs in his nose.  
'Need a ride?' His heart skipped a beat, it was Levi.  
'Oh, can you give a ride to a minor, let alone a student?'  
'Sure, I can make an exception.' Levi smiled at him, his perfect smile making Eren's heart melt.  
'Go ahead, get in Eren.' Eren opened the door and slid in, admiring how perfect everything was about his car.  
'Just try not to get anything dirty, okay?'  
'I know Levi, I've know you for how long?'  
'Sorry just cleaned her.' Eren laughed softly, his eyes sparkling as him and Levi talked about different scientific conspiracy's. At one point Eren even had the guts to flirtatiously set a hand on his arm, noticing how Levi kind of liked it, he moved it from his arm to his leg. Eren let his left hand just rest on Levi's leg, noticing Levi not doing anything about it.  
'Levi, would you like to um, go to coffee with me?' Eren began to softly chew on his bottom lip,'I need help with math, so like a tutoring thing.'  
'Well, how's tomorrow sound?'  
'Valentine's Day? Don't you have a uhm, girlfriend?'  
'Nope, therefore it's a perfect day.'  
'Sounds great.' They pulled up to the school, Eren bursting with joy as he headed to his locker.  
'Thanks for the ride!' Eren yelled and waved at Levi, practically skipping everywhere.  
He was heading to his first class when he head Mikasa talking to Reiner about the baby. Reiner looked as dumbfounded as usual, but Annie was bursting with joy, holding Mikasa's hand.  
'So how's being a baby daddy, Reiner.' Eren laughed for a moment, making a dramatic entrance.  
'Oh, I'm not just the baby's daddy.' Reiner winked at Eren, causing his cheeks o turn a light shade of red. em'Damn he must be kinky/em' Eren thought to himself, stashing it away in his mind. As Annie and Mikasa began to walk away, Annie planted a gentle kiss on Mikasa's stomach.  
'So, I take it everything is good here?'  
'Yes Eren, thank you.' Eren's eyes widened. That was the first time Annie had said thank you to his face, he felt kind of pleased. After school he pretty much sprinted home, attempting to develop a plan for tomorrow. He needed a plan, any plan, to tell Levi how he felt.

* * *

 ** _Sorry it's a short sucky chapter but I had writers block and I just couldn't write but here ;^;_**


	7. Chapter Seven

Eren woke up, trembling with excitement for his date today. It was Saturday, Valentine's day, and he was going to tell the love of his life how he felt. He tumbled out of his bed, looking in the mirror to see his disastrous mess of hair. After spending five minutes of styling, combing, and messing with his hair in only boxers, he decided to get dressed. Eren scrounged through his drawers, pulling out his only light colored jeans, and a nice shirt. Outside he heard mourning doves, their calls filling his ears with a pleasant symphonic sound. Eren got up and ran out of his bedroom, heading towards the door, Mikasa sitting on the couch.  
'You might want shoes, Eren.' Eren's face turned a light shade of pink as he stopped by the door, bending over to grab his shoes.  
'Yeah, Yeah, shut your face Mikasa.' She smiled softly, then continued to bury her face in a tub of Ben Jerry's ice cream, and not the small tubs. Eren cringed with disgust before heading out the door, his parents fighting in the distance of their room. All Eren made out of their words were move, gay, Eren, but he didn't mind, it happened all the time. As he reached the concrete sidewalk, he practically skipped the entire way to the coffee shop.  
Outside the shop there were four tables, two on either side of the door. A striped, blue canopy rested above them, keeping them dry from the rain and snow. They were the taller tables, with the long, narrow stools that you can find at a Burger King or McDonald's. Windows filled the outside, giving a clear look to the inside which was painted Etruscan brown. When he entered, Sasha was at the counter, stuffing her face with a pastry, waving as Eren entered.  
'Welcome in! Table for one today Eren?' Sasha spat out, crumbs falling from the sides of her mouth.  
'Actually two, have you seen Levi?'  
'He was just here, I think he sat out back with a book and a dirty chai latte.'  
'Ah thanks man.' Eren smiled and trailed down to the door that lead to the outside tables. He took a deep breath before opening the door, exhaling it as he saw Levi sitting on the concrete bench, reading span style="text-decoration: underline;"emPride and /em/spanemspan style="text-decoration: underline;"Predjudice/span. /emLevi didn't even notice him at first, his nose was buried in his book, occasionally taking a sip as Eren stood staring at the beautiful creature before him. The sun gleamed off Levi's hair,his eyes staring intently at the book before him, moving as he read and comprehended each word. His index finger caressed the spine of the book as his thumb held his pages down. Eren continued down his body, noticing how his spine curved, paying attention to each and every vertebrae, down to his tone stomach, inching down to his.. He took his head and let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding.  
'Uh, hey Levi.'  
'Eren.' There was a small pause as he looked up from his book, pressing his reading glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. 'You didn't bring your books.'  
'I, uhm actually needed to talk to you.'  
'As did I, Eren. Did you tell someone about my exploration with Mikasa?'  
'I, no I didn't tell anyone.'  
'Yes, yes you did. Now, I have court on Monday. I would not like to see you again Eren. I got fired from teaching because of this. I will be charged with statutory rape, and my life is practically ruined because of you.' Levi held his tone steady, almost as his father did when he got in trouble. Eren's hands balled into fists, tears began forming in the corner of his brilliant green eyes.  
'Levi, I..'  
'Eren, would you please leave, and don't come into contact with me again.'  
'But, Levi.'  
'Go already! Do I have to tell you I hate you?.' Eren's heart snapped, tears pounded out of his eyes, refusing to stop. Levi was acting childish, Eren knew it, but it broke his heart.  
'Fine.' Eren left, sulking his entire way home. When he got home he locked himself in his room, heading down to his basement until the next day, leaving both doors locked.  
When morning came, and everybody was gone at work, Eren crawled out of his hole. He scrounged his 'fathers' room, searching for something he hid under his bed. After he found it, he smiled, curling his hands around the could, metal handle. He stuck it in the front of his pants, being cautious in case someone came home early. He entered the gleaming white bathroom, sitting in the empty tub. He wrote four notes, laying them out on the floor beside him.  
'Sorry for the mess I'm about to make..' He postition the shiny objest in his mouth, continuing to hold it with both his hands. 'Levi.. I love you..' He took a deep breath, slowly pulling on the trigger until a loud bang went off, his thoughts stopped, and so did his broken heart.

* * *

Eren opened his eyes to see the soft pale face of Petra smiling at him.

'Eren it's okay, you're okay now.'

'P-Petra?' His eyes widened as he recognized her face. She reached her arms out to him, her smiling wiping the fear from his body.

'Come with me now Eren, please.' He took her hand, and she lead him to the most mesmerizing light.

* * *

 _Ok so whoops I screwed that up ;-; here is the new last chapter c: hopefully this won't get fucked up too woohoo! I'm going to be writing another story over the summer but it won't be posted because, I lack a computer :D Love you guys ^^ thank you for reading this far and I hope you've enjoyed it!_


	8. Note to Jean

Dear Jean,

I fucked your boyfriend.


	9. Note to Marco

Dear Marco,  
Yes it's true, I fell for you after I gave my virginity to you. You love Jean though, and it's not like you knew so I definitely forgive you. You were the angel who helped me through so much, the least I could do is help you with your problems. I truly will miss you, just remember that you will always be my friend no matter what. Stay strong my freckled Jesus.  
-Eren


	10. Note to Levi

Dear Levi,  
I won't hold my tongue  
I'm not okay without you here  
I guess what's done is done  
I just feel so exposed without you near  
'cause you taught me not to lie  
so know that I'll miss you everyday

I wanted to tell you that I love you Levi. I have been in love with you since I was young. I didn't tell about you and Mikasa, I promise. I just wish you could forgive me for what I have now done. Don't worry, I'll tell Petra all about you now. She will be so proud of you, like I was. It breaks my heart to never be able to see you again, but that's life I suppose.  
-Eren


	11. Note to loved ones

Dear whoever loved me,  
I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm dead. By now my body is probably sitting here rotting while you're reading this letter. I can't wait to see my mom again, because no one could replace her. I wish my dad were here to see me now, I bet he'd be proud. Don't you think? Well, anyway, Armin, Sasha, Connie, and my other friends, take care of Mikasa and that baby. I am trusting you guys with my life. Hah a little death humor for you guys. I love you all, so be safe. Parents, fuck you guys.  
-Eren


End file.
